For many children, sharing is difficult. Giving a toy to a younger brother or sister when they are playing alone is not fun. This causes fights among the children. Parents often intervene and decide who gets to play with what. However, this leads to more fights, and the children do not learn that sharing is good.

So, how to teach children to share? Here are some tips to help!

Why Do Children Find It Difficult to Share With Others?

For many parents, their children must learn to share with others. For one thing, they want their children to be sweet and kind to others. It is also not good to have a lot of fighting at home, and playing the policeman all the time is tiring.

It can be challenging to understand why a child does not want to share something. A child may not even look at a toy for months, and then, as soon as a sibling arrives, he or she only wants to play with it. Or a child doesn’t like a fire truck, throws a tantrum, and a minute later is playing with something else.

To understand why sharing is so difficult for children, it is good to know from when a child is social-emotionally capable of sharing.

Infants and Toddlers

Until about 2 years old, they are still entirely self-directed. The child is not yet aware that others have desires and feelings. A small child may look for others, but will play alone. Children are not yet socially or emotionally capable of giving anything to anyone else; at about age 3, they gradually become interested in others, but it is still difficult for them to play together. This is why conflicts often arise. Children cannot yet identify with others and see the world from their own perspective.

Toddlers

Starting around age 4, children can play and share more and more. They discover that playing together is more fun than playing alone, such as board games or playing mom and dad. Children also begin to understand that others have feelings and that these must be considered when playing together. One child grows up faster than the other, but it is still difficult for almost all children. If a child does not want to share, it does not mean that he or she is not sweet or social, but that his or her development is normal.

From age 6 or 7

With a six- or seven-year-old child, sharing will become easier and easier. The child can now empathize with others and know that it is crucial to understand their feelings and how to do so.

How Can I Help My Child Learn to Share?

Make Them Understand & Let Them Decide

Children learn best to share when they understand that sharing is a good thing. And they can only learn it if they themselves choose to share something. So, give your child the initiative and let them decide when to play with the toy.

For example, instead of saying, “Can I get on the swing now?”, try “Can I get on the swing when you are done?”.

You will notice that children very often answer no to the first question most of the time and yes to the second. Hearing the word “yes” is already much nicer and positive for everyone. The child who wants to ride the swing feels that he or she has what they want, and the child on the swing also feels positive about being able to share.

Teach Them About Patience & Comfort Them

For all children, waiting for others is not an easy task. Please help your child in this regard. Many children can become angry or sad when a partner, sister, or sibling does not want to share immediately. Help your child cope with disappointment. Comfort the child and acknowledge the feeling (“You wanted to play with the car so badly” or “It must be very annoying to have to wait now”). If you let the feeling go, the child will be happy to play with something else.

This comfort is not always easy, especially if it seems unfair that they cannot play with something for so long. But by doing so, you can teach your child more. They are taught to wait, respect others, and deal with disappointment, something the child will benefit from in the future